by Rebecca Dykeman
For years, I struggled with the need to be perfect.
I felt like I had to be the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect friend, the perfect writer, you name it. I was hard on myself. Whenever I made a mistake or felt like I could've done better at something, it made me feel bad about myself. I felt like I wasn't good enough.
I'm not the only girl who's ever felt this way. Teenage girls have a lot to juggle. School, part-time jobs, relationships with family and friends, activities… the list goes on. On top of that, the media tells us that we have to have the best body, clothes, hair, and makeup. With all the expectations and pressure we face, it's no wonder we feel like we have to be flawless in every way.
Allow me to introduce you to a saying I've learned recently: "brave, not perfect."
What does that mean?
It means that you don't have to be completely faultless. It's okay to mess up sometimes. What's more important is having the courage to try at all.
This phrase might sound cheesy, but it was a serious eye-opener for me. It made me realize how much my previous mindset made me miserable and lowered my self esteem. It made me want to change the way I thought about myself.
Putting this teaching into practice hasn't been an overnight change. I'm still hard on myself from time to time. I still find myself engaging in negative self-talk when I don't do something as well as I'd hoped. But when I catch myself thinking that way, I just repeat "brave, not perfect" to myself and try to move on.
Thanks to "brave, not perfect," I'm working on turning my thoughts around and being more gentle with myself. It's helping me learn to be more confident, and to love myself even when I make mistakes.
All in all, it's one of the best lessons I've ever learned.
Rebecca Dykeman is a Grade 12 student at Woodstock High School. She is interested in writing, storytelling, and personal development.